From www.maxforpresident.com
"Welcome! Greetings my fellow Americans. And girl ones, too. These are
times of divisions. Red states and blue states. The have-nots and the
have-tons-of. The imbecilic, and the amazingly even more imbecilic.
But our
America is an enormous fondue pot, where smelly cheeses of all types
can meld together in a sort of warm oily mass, for citizens and
non-legal residents alike to dip dry bread crumbs on a long metal stick
into.
It is my duty
to bridge these societal gaps, or at least mince along the fine line
between them as deftly as a damn ballerina. ...
Will I seek
re-election in the year 2008?
I-don't-know-maybe-what-the-hell-sure-I-guess-so. Over the next months
I will determine the will of the electorate... and when I say 'electorate,' I actually don't have a clue what it means, though I
suspect it's some type of scalp condition.
In my short time in
office, I have learned much about our great nation, for instance; that
I can order a tuna fish sandwich from the White House kitchen at 5:00
AM and then send it back at the last minute in favor of a meatball sub.
Or, that my motorcade can drive right over a hobo without any apparent
repercussions.
I will be addressing
you frequently my loyal brethren, citizens, brothers and/or sisters,
livestock and upright walking reptile/human hybrids but for now I bid
to all those patriots who carry in their hearts a national pride in our
own unique culture... 'Adieu.' "
